What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

What is the scariest thing that ever happened in your life?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

What are my 10 favorite rock record album opening tracks?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Why do narcissists keep calling on the phone after years of separation?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

What do you like the most about black people?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

TEXT:

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

What does it mean to you to live a life that reflects biblical values?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

How can I stop drinking?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Do you enjoy cheating on your spouse? If so, why?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

What are 50 random facts about yourself?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

What happens to single guys when they get older?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Make Nazis afraid again!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

What's the biggest myth about illegal immigrants?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

If women aren't shallow, why do most tall, good-looking men have girlfriends?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.